Assclown Alert is a column of opinion, evaluation and snark.
Final week, former Mayor Ron Nirenberg lashed out on social media at Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick over the Republican politician’s demand that Alamo Belief CEO Kate Rogers resign as a result of an opinion she expressed in her 2023 grad-school dissertation.
“That is actually dumb,” Nirenberg wrote in what could qualify because the understatement of the 12 months.
The fact is “actually dumb” is par for the course in relation to Patrick, a former radio shock jock who one way or the other parlayed his subpar Rush Limbaugh impression right into a political profession.
Since being elected to the Texas Senate in 2006, Patrick — one of many state’s most vocal tradition warriors — has repeatedly proven himself to be each untethered from actuality and, regardless of his proclivity for cowboy cosplay, too fucking silly to pour water out of a boot.
Let’s run down a few of the former Danny Goeb’s biggest hits, lets?
•This spring, because the state handled urgent points, corresponding to its worst measles outbreak in a long time, Patrick threatened to move a legislation to alter the title of the “New York strip” steak to the “Texas strip” to personal the East Coast libs.
•In 2013, Patrick tried to lift marketing campaign money in a submit claiming Duck Dynasty patriarch Phil Robertson was really channeling the voice of God the he made offensive anti-LGBTQ+ com-ments to GQ journal.
•That very same 12 months, Patrick instructed a Baptist congregation in Conroe, “There isn’t any such factor as separation of church and state.”
•And, in 1992, whereas working in radio, Patrick drew the ire of Asian Individuals for joking that journalist Connie Chung’s TV present needs to be referred to as Slanted Eye to Eye, a remark for which he refused to apologize.
And we may go on, however it is a newspaper column, not a goddamned guide.
Patrick’s asinine assertions can be fun riot — a misplaced outtake reel from Idiocracy — if the state wasn’t drowning in his verbal diarrhea. In different phrases, his outbursts have actual penalties.
Simply ask Rogers, who resigned from the Alamo Belief after coming into Patrick’s sights. Her departure comes despite the fact that she gained copious reward for her fundraising acumen and skill to get issues completed regardless of the meddling of Patrick and others intent whitewashing the monument’s historical past.
Possibly if Patrick runs off sufficient Alamo Belief leaders, he can set up an animatronic model of himself on the entrance gate narrating a looped tour: “Welcome, patriots! Please hold all vital considering to your self!”
Till rational voters begin turning up on the polls to bounce this assclown out of workplace, we are able to anticipate extra of the identical.
And, sure, depend on extra of the similar being actually fucking dumb.
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